1.  I pray often that I wouldn't believe the lie society feeds us, that our children are a burden.  At one time I bought into the lie.  It was just after I had my second son that I was complaining to my husband that I couldn't get the dishes done or dinner made because Isaac was getting into things and Kaleb kept crying....He asked me a question that hit me hard: "would you rather not be there?"  It caught me off guard because I didn't know what he was talking about, so I had to ask: "What?"  "I mean, do you want to get a job or something?"...No!  I knew that God had called me to be home with my kids, and at that moment (and from then on) I started thinking about WHY I AM HERE and WHO I AM HERE FOR.  They are not a burden, they are a blessing, and my day as a "STAY AT HOME MOM" (did you get that?  Not stay at home dishwasher, though that is part of the job) is about being home with them, teaching them, loving them, and training them.

2.  I remind myself that my children are more important than anything else.  The dishes will be there at naptime or after bedtime, but my babies are growing up fast!  Though I like an orderly and clean home, I've given up the expectation of the Martha Stewart-sparkly clean and organized look.  My house is not going to look like the cover of the latest (ever changing) Pottery Barn catalog.  This just can't even be a goal, I have kids.  So what if the coffee table got scratched--or worse yet, bitten (this happened last week) and it doesn't look as pretty anymore....What's more important?  I do expect my kids to treat things with respect and I don't let them intentionally go around and destroy things (the boys wanted to hammer on the walls last week, and I nixed that pretty quickly), but at the same time I don't get angry, frustrated, or depressed when my things get broken or when things don't get done because I have children.

3.  I spend time with my kids every day.  To me, if I spent most of my day doing tasks around the house and did not spend any time with the kids, the day was wasted.  Another thing that I have begun to understand recently is that I CAN take care of tasks around the house AND spend time with the kids--I just include them in the tasks at hand.  When I am cooking, they stand on chairs at the counter with a bowl and a spoon (and once in a while a few chocolate chips).  When I vacuum, they use little popper toys and "vacuum" too.  They "help" me fold the laundry and put away towels and socks.  They help unload the sippy cups and silverware from the dishwasher.  They can be trained to help!  (My kids are 3, 2, and 1...the 1 year old doesn't do much of this, but he is always with us).  I also take time (LOTS of time) to read to my kids and we have daily "Circle Time" when we sing songs together, and we also read the Bible and memorize Scripture together each day.  When they are in their high chairs, I am usually picking up the kitchen or preparing dinner and we are singing songs together.  Another way I make sure to spend time with them is that I keep them in the room I am in at all times.  We have a 3 bedroom house, and one of the rooms used to be a playroom, where the kids would run and play by themselves while I was in the kitchen working.  I liked the idea of having them by my side (so that I could discipline them when needed, watch their attitudes towards their brothers, etc.), so now that room is a den and it has a baby lock on the door.  I also keep their room closed & with a baby lock, so they are pretty much allowed to play in the great room or the kitchen, which is all in my view.  This is one of the (many) advantages to having a small house when the kids are young:  we don't lose our kids or have to run into rooms throughout the house to deal with fights, because our house doesn't have many rooms!

4.  It is a HUGE priority in our life that I am home with the kids every day.  This is another advantage to having a smaller house when the kids are young--we have a smaller house payment!  We moved from a (much) bigger house and cut our house payment in half, and even if my husband had a major cut in pay tomorrow, though it would hurt us and we'd have to adjust, I would not have to work.  We make choices every day that secure my position in our home--we budget wisely, we rarely go out to eat (probably once every two months), we don't spend a lot on ourselves or by frivolous things, when it comes to birthdays or Christmas we have a plan of how much we are going to spend and we don't usually go over that.  In other words, the fact that I stay home is just that--a fact.  It's not something that we ever talk about changing, it's just something that IS.

5.  I have cut down videos in a MAJOR way and turned off TV completely.  I used to play 1 video per day for my kids, and sometimes more than one, and sometimes even shows on PBS.  While I don't think many of these shows are inherently bad, I think of them sort of the same way I think of (some) public education.  Some classes aren't inherently bad, they just teach about history or math or literature, right?  But it's history, math and literature absent of God.  This is the same as many of the shows our kids watch--Blues Clues is fun and learning, minus God.  And Sesame Street is (well, let's not go there...)...you know, minus God.  And what do our kids learn if anything in life is minus God?  That it's ok to live life and talk about things and leave God out...and they learn that, possibly, just maybe God isn't always there--or God isn't in all things...or that God has nothing to do with literature or learning your ABC's, or you name it....Personally, I want my kids to learn about life knowing that God is always there and God cares about aspect of life.  And for me, I found myself using videos as a "babysitter" and started questioning what value such videos would give them in (my ultimate goal as a mom) their life as a fruitful adult?  Would watching videos now create habits of sitting down and clicking on the tube?  And as an adult, is there really anything (or much) edifying on the tube?  They most certainly won't be interested in silly sing-song videos as a teenager or adult, but if we have created the habit of sitting and viewing, they will still want to do it....so what will they watch then?  I could go on forever about this, but I have one more thought--when our kids watched videos, they fought more.  I've heard that kids' adrenaline builds up as they watch TV, but they aren't doing anything to release it--and so afterwards, they have to have a quick release (like, hmmm...hitting little brother?).  MOST days we don't watch ANY videos anymore, we just spend time together.  There are special days (like when they are sick) that a little bit of video viewing is acceptable in our home...but that is it.

6.  I remember that my kids are little sponges, soaking everything up.  What I teach them is acceptable now, they will trust is acceptable later.  They will likely live out what they see me living out.  I have learned to watch my mouth--and not that I swear, I don't--but I say little things like "shoot", when something doesn't go right or I am frustrated...and guess what my 3 year old started saying?  "Shoot"!  In the same way, if I don't respect my husband, will they learn to respect him?  No, they won't.  And if I speak poorly of others, won't they learn to do the same?  I figure that whatever my flaws are, they will likely multiply those flaws in their own life.  This is sin-nature, and it started with Adam and Eve...So I seek God about my own life and habits and pray that my children will not pick up any sinful attitudes from me!

7.  I pray for them and with them daily.  This was something that came naturally for me, because my husband and I have been praying together every night before we go to bed ever since the day we got married.  So I learned from experience that the way to build up a healthy and strong relationship is to PRAY.  And since I want a healthy and strong relationship with my kids, I pray!  In the mornings, I pray for them, and in the evenings my husband and I pray for them.  And we have always prayed with our kids at each meal, and before they go to bed at night.  Within the last few months I have instilled another prayer habit into our daily life.  Each day before they go down for nap, we read stories (to calm down), and then we pray for some of their friends.  I ask them which friends they want to pray for, and we pray.  Ok, I pray--but they learn to hold hands and close their eyes, and I look forward to the day that they will talk to God too!